A Message to Family Members & Friends

Source:

Reprinted with permission, from the book "Memory Problems?", produced by the Early Stage Support Groups in the North/Central Okanagan Region of the Alzheimer Society of B.C., created by people with dementia for people with dementia. For more information, visit www.alzheimerbc.org, or call 1-800-667-3742.

Online at: http://www.alzheimer.ca/english/haveAD/advice-message.htm

• Please don't correct me. I know better - the information just isn't available to me at the moment.

• Remember, my feelings are intact and I get hurt easily.

• I usually know when the wrong word comes out, and I'm as surprised as you are.

• I need people to speak a little slower on the telephone.

• Try to ignore off-hand remarks that I wouldn't have made in the past. If you focus on it, it won't prevent it from happening again. It just makes me feel worse.

• I may say something that is real to me but may not be factual. I am not lying, even if the information is not correct. Don't argue, it won't solve anything.

• If I put my clothes on the chair or the floor, it may be because I can't find them in the closet.

• If you can anticipate that I am getting into difficulty, please don't draw attention to it, but try to carefully help me through it so nobody else will be aware of the problem.

• At a large gathering, please keep an eye on me because I can get lost easily! But please don't shadow my every move. Use gentle respect to guide me.

• Sometimes you give me the message that you think I am faking these problems. What you don't see is my terrible confusion and my hurt knowing how you feel.

• I don't mean to frustrate you. I know you get impatient and tired of telling me things three times in a row. Please be patient.

• Ask me what I think or want. Don't assume that you know.

• Believe I still love you, even if I am having trouble showing it.